Thursday, July 19, 2007

A Giant Among A Colony of Ants!

Today is one of those days where I feel like a giant among a colony of scurrying ants! A day where everything seems like such a small affair and everyone seems so moved by it all. Of course, a feeling like this is not meant to last, that would be utterly dysfunctional, but in those moments when it washes over me like a cool breeze, it is quite a nice reprieve from the hum-drum of moving bodies puttering aimlessly about, including my own. The thought that goes through my mind is something like, 'You're kidding, right?!?' Clearly, to be alive is something special in and of itself. Just to allow a deep breath to penetrate the fortress of solitude that is my chest cavity, at times, and open me up to the crystal clear blue sky with small, white bellowing clouds floating through. To feel the warmth of the sun on my face, and allow myself to travel to that intimate place where sun meets skin, where time is thrown off like a fool's crutch. And then to turn, figuratively, and look at the complexity of our human interactions with each other and the Earth that gives sooooooo much. So strange. And here's the kicker...to actually think, act, and believe as if happiness will be found by following the man-made authority of this maze of ridiculous complexity called modern life. That down some dark, hidden avenue, after 33 years of ceaseless movement in every direction imaginable there is a treasure waiting for me. I just can't imagine love hiding happiness from me, and not only that, but not even providing an accurate map!! Like I said, the feeling passes, the phone rings, I answer it, it's 11:42a.m.